The Big Bang

A month back, as I was making room for more closet space, I stumbled upon a notebook that dated way back to 2001. Seeing the prepubescent cover of this notebook not only made me wonder what the hell I was thinking when I bought it, but it instantly brought back memories too. I flipped through the pages. What started off with law cases and legislative notes soon turned into a three way note passing conversation between two girlfriends and I. Hence, this is why I am not a lawyer.

I came across a section that was then depressing, but now rather amusing. I was going through a bad, probably the worst break up and my two girlfriends were consoling me. I had no recollection whatsoever of the events that happened in the notebook. I have mastered the art of blocking despairing memories ever since my parents' divorce. That, or he fed me so many lies that I was too full and had no choice but to vomit it all out of my system. But what I do remember distinctly is how I felt at the time. 

This past weekend, I managed to meet up with one of these girlfriends of mine for dinner and we ended up talking in her apartment till 4am. 

The subject of the notebook was raised, naturally. We began juxtaposing our lives; then and now. Problems that were so godly and worldly at the time seems so minute now.

The subject of my juvenile breakup too was raised, naturally. We laughed about it. Then like any woman, we began dissecting it. Verdict? Let's just say we've calmed a fuck load since we were 20.

You see, we all go through heartbreaks. But, you will always have that ONE person who will break your heart so bad you feel like dying and you feel like you will never recover from it. Well yeah, of course, you're dead. 

You will feel like you will never find someone that perfect for you and there's no one out there who can ever make you that happy again.

You will cry for days, or even weeks. If you're me, you just stop eating. Or if you're Bridget Jones you just won't stop eating. 

Every damn thing would remind you of him/her. Even a frying pan. And all of a sudden, all the song writers in the world are your best friends because they share your pain... because every fucking song is ABOUT you. And every time you see a couple, you can feel the loathe just breeding and manifesting in you. It might even take you months to recover. But we all have been there. That dark, dark, ugly place.

But once you overcome that, every other hurdle or heartbreak that comes your way will just seem like a mere fart compared to what you went through. Of course you're not made of stone, you will still bawl your eyes out, you will question yourself, you will still wallow in self pity. You will feel everything you did before, but on a much smaller scale. However, just like before, you can and will pick yourself up and you can and will move on. 

You may even be surprised that it might only take you half the time than it did before.