Hunting Jobs and Men.

Job hunting is no different than dating.

Stage One

Job Hunt (JH): This is where you meet your potential employers. It's usually a 'casual' chat about yourself and they give you a brief background on their company. The clientele, the number of employees, and how fun the company can be. In short, you both are trying to seem appealing to the other party.

The Date (TD): This is where you meet your potential partner. It's usually a CASUAL chat about yourself and he/she will give you a brief (or not, depending on how nervous or how much alcohol has been consumed) background about themselves. It's usually about their families, their jobs and how fun they are outside of their jobs. In short, you both are trying really hard to seem fuckable to the other person.

Stage Two

JH: Congratulations, they might like you. This is where it gets slightly more intense. You are asked to talk more in depth about yourself. What you want. What are your expectations. What you can provide for the company. They might even sum you up and  put a value on you and how much you are worth to the company.

They tell you things you want to hear. They tell you they like your work, and you have the potential. They may even lead you on occasionally by asking questions like "So when can you start?" and saying things like "You're just what we're looking for".

You will never be able to read how true all this is.

TD: Congratulations, he/she might actually like you. Seeing that the course of dating has to be prolonged compared to an interview, stage two probably begins after 5-6 dates where things begin to get intense. You are asked to talk more in depth about the 'relationship'. Where is this going? What do you want? What are your expectations? What can you provide for this 'relationship'? He/she might even sum you up and put a value on what you're worth in terms of investing time and energy in this 'relationship'.

He/she will tell you things you want to hear. He/she will say they like you, and they see this going somewhere. He/she might even lead you on occasionally by making faux statements that involves future plans and how you are exactly what he/she is looking for.

It is almost impossible to read how true all of this is.

Stage Three

JH: The waiting game. You wait for them to call you. You constantly check your email for a call back. You start to go insane.

TD: The waiting game. You wait for him/her to call you. You constantly check your phone for a text or a phone call. If you're pathetic enough, an email might even make your day. You start to go insane. You and whoever's crazy enough to stick around to listen.

Stage Four

JH: A call? You got the job. Congratulations. No? Game over, keep calm and carry on.

TD: A call? He's a gem. You stupid lucky bitch. No? Asshole.

The Big Bang

A month back, as I was making room for more closet space, I stumbled upon a notebook that dated way back to 2001. Seeing the prepubescent cover of this notebook not only made me wonder what the hell I was thinking when I bought it, but it instantly brought back memories too. I flipped through the pages. What started off with law cases and legislative notes soon turned into a three way note passing conversation between two girlfriends and I. Hence, this is why I am not a lawyer.

I came across a section that was then depressing, but now rather amusing. I was going through a bad, probably the worst break up and my two girlfriends were consoling me. I had no recollection whatsoever of the events that happened in the notebook. I have mastered the art of blocking despairing memories ever since my parents' divorce. That, or he fed me so many lies that I was too full and had no choice but to vomit it all out of my system. But what I do remember distinctly is how I felt at the time. 

This past weekend, I managed to meet up with one of these girlfriends of mine for dinner and we ended up talking in her apartment till 4am. 

The subject of the notebook was raised, naturally. We began juxtaposing our lives; then and now. Problems that were so godly and worldly at the time seems so minute now.

The subject of my juvenile breakup too was raised, naturally. We laughed about it. Then like any woman, we began dissecting it. Verdict? Let's just say we've calmed a fuck load since we were 20.

You see, we all go through heartbreaks. But, you will always have that ONE person who will break your heart so bad you feel like dying and you feel like you will never recover from it. Well yeah, of course, you're dead. 

You will feel like you will never find someone that perfect for you and there's no one out there who can ever make you that happy again.

You will cry for days, or even weeks. If you're me, you just stop eating. Or if you're Bridget Jones you just won't stop eating. 

Every damn thing would remind you of him/her. Even a frying pan. And all of a sudden, all the song writers in the world are your best friends because they share your pain... because every fucking song is ABOUT you. And every time you see a couple, you can feel the loathe just breeding and manifesting in you. It might even take you months to recover. But we all have been there. That dark, dark, ugly place.

But once you overcome that, every other hurdle or heartbreak that comes your way will just seem like a mere fart compared to what you went through. Of course you're not made of stone, you will still bawl your eyes out, you will question yourself, you will still wallow in self pity. You will feel everything you did before, but on a much smaller scale. However, just like before, you can and will pick yourself up and you can and will move on. 

You may even be surprised that it might only take you half the time than it did before.